Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
she peed on how many people?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
