Me. At least after what I've been through.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
