U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
