i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
