just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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