hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
