More tranny stories later!
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
