Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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