Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
