we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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