Porn is love you can see.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
