lets start a swedish sibling band together
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
