Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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