if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
