I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
