Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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