pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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