I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
