Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
