Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So apparently I’m into choking now
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
