I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
