you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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