And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Can I color on your dick again?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
