i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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