I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
