It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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