Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
