I showed him my bush... on skype.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I need to align my fucking chakras
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
