East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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