I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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