1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
