12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Randomize
