you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
