At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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