This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
