I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
