So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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