marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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