when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
