Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
