i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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