I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
wow bdsm is so cute
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
