I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
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