after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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