I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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