I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize