Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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