He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
