Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
