what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
